Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Beginning

Welcome, gentlemen and ladies, to the inaugural posting of the most sensational blog on the internets, 2nd and Wrong. If you’ve arrived here, it means you can’t use Google correctly or you just want some hard ass, realistic football commentary. You’re in luck. Too often in today’s society of sports commentary the various writers and “experts” are plagued with what we like to call an affliction of being “bat shit retarded”. It leads them to say stupid things and make claims with absolutely no basis or support. It should be taken in full though, because they are the experts after all. So if you want a realistic look at what’s going on in the football world, with an added twist and heaping loads of satire, you’re in the right place. If you can’t handle the truth (which I’m thoroughly aware that most people can’t) then it is highly recommended you start making your way towards the exit.

One of the first things that we would like to get out of the way is a short biography. I, myself, who will be writing a majority of the entries, will focus supremely on the NFL. For our time here, you can call me Benjamin Martin. Something I believe to be of the utmost importance is allegiance, or at least the making aware of said allegiance to avoid claims of favouritism. I personally am a fan of the Cincinnati Bengals. That is my team. However, you will find that apart from their most recent draft I will not speak highly of them, except for Carson Palmer, or as I like to call him: Jesus. Now my comrade in arms will also be handling the big, thick NFL load with me as well. You can refer to him as Frank White. However, he is also a fan of college football, whereas I am not, so he will ride that train occasionally. We will usually write and edit the NFL posts together, whereas I don’t want anything to do with the NCAA, unless it’s to spread slander. His allegiance lies with the Michigan Wolverines and the San Diego Chargers. I believe the knowledge of our allegiances to be absolutely fundamental to avoid any callings of shenanigans on us. For example, if the Bills play the Jets and you’re a Jets fan and the Bills crush the Jets and we say the Bills crushed the Jets, I don’t need a bunch of feedback calling me a homer. It is what it is. And that’s what you’ll get here. It. Because that what’s it is. And we have it. And we want to give it to you. Hard.

Now this isn’t going to be just your normal, hostility-filled blog. Everyone needs a gimmick, and as such, we’ve developed one. Not really developed, more like borrowed. Every season we shall take two teams from each conference and mercilessly and shamelessly praise them. Why? Because sportswriters do it already. You’ve always encountered the “do no wrong” team of the year. Even when they lose, they’re still the best and can’t be beat. We would like to do this too, but with purpose, and like assholes. Because it will make it all the more enjoyable. We will not, however, tell you what teams we have chosen. It will be up to you to decide. It’s not a contest or anything, just a little game you can play with yourself that has no prize except for self-satisfaction. And I think we all know it’s best to play with yourself. We’re not completely bitter assholes either, so it won’t exactly be 100% easy to pick this out. It won’t be in a separate section. It will be seamlessly integrated into the whole of our blog. We won’t be talking smack about the remaining 28 teams just because we’ve decided to be nice to 4. If teams do well, we’ll say. Like I said, it is what it is.

For a brief overview of the content we will be showcasing. We’ll divide it into sections every week and they will stand as thus:
Game RundownWe go over the games from the week (if there are any). This will likely exclude most preseason games.

In The Now
We go through what’s happening in the league. Be it trades, signings and apparently an overview of all the legal cases against the NFL’s players, since they’ve all got something going on (Go Bengals)

Depantsing The Establishment
This is quite literally what it states. Even though they suck, we have to get sports news from sports writers most of the time. So we have to read their tripe. We’ll take their tripe, and make fun of it for you. So you can get tripe-free news from us. And isn’t that what we all want? Talk about living the dream.

Best Evar
The blatant misspelling of the word “ever” is done on purpose. In this section, we will take the “Best Evar” and compare it to someone who is actually the Best Ever. The “Best Evar” is usually the player who is the flavour of the month/year that can do absolutely no wrong in the eyes of sports writers. If you don’t understand it exactly, wait for the first post and you’ll soon get the idea.

Givin’ Em The Business
Here we’ll talk about the business of the NFL. And that business is pain. And by pain, we mean discussing things like offensive and defensive schemes, positional importance, etc.

Best Name Of The Week
This is also exactly what it sounds like. We’re just going to find awesome names and deliver them to you for your amusement.

This is the content we can provide. These sections aren’t set in stone, and may be too hard or boring to continually deliver to you. Or we may add new ones. Some may appear bi- or tri-weekly rather than weekly. It all depends on what we have to work with. Also, don’t be surprised to see completely random things put in at the end of blogs that strike our fancy. They could involve other sports, or just popular news from the day.

A few disclaimers:
I am foul-mouthed, deal with it.
This is primarily an NFL blog, so think of us as a seasonal blog. Don’t expect many posts over the summer months. We’ll start before the first week, and end frequent posts shortly after Free Agency and the resulting Draft. In short, expect weekly posts during the season and the postseason, but find a hobby to occupy your summer.I cannot guarantee that our posts will not degrade into arguments between my comrade and myself.

Any comments or concerns can be directed to us at: 2ndandwrong@gmail.com

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